Investing in yourself might be one of the only ways to stay sane in a chaotic and busy world.

For me, it took hitting a stale point in my creative and financial life to realize that I was missing something, even with being grateful for all that I have. 

Every one of us has what it takes to get through the rough stuff in life, the harsh interruptions to daily happiness. What if we have what it takes, but we don’t really know what it will take to have us feeling at peace with life’s challenging circumstances? 

challenges are a normal part of life

The challenges, such as grief, can feel insurmountable when we’re experiencing them. Sure, we know that “this too shall pass” but waiting for that passage can be overwhelming and truly uncomfortable. During my greatest challenges is when I realized the truth of my life. It’s not exciting and dramatic, all I realized was what I refer to as TIL – This Is Life. 

I woke up and understood for the first time ever that good and bad things happen to everyone and it’s not bad luck when the hard stuff hits – it’s simply just life. 

So many people are struggling with the disillusionment of a life we were promised when we grew up. We were told opportunities awaited us to do great things. We assumed that getting a job and having a family was normal and easy and if we followed the normal path and didn’t get into trouble with the law – we were pretty much guaranteed to enjoy a successful, well-balanced life. 

Many of us now realize that a successful, well-balanced life is not a guarantee of happiness. We still have to deal with all the unpleasant aspects of life. We will disagree with people close to us, we will have fall outs with friends, relationships do often end, we will lose loved ones when they inevitably pass over, we will feel social pressures, we will react to atrocities. 

Once I became uncomfortable enough, it forced me to become desperate enough to look for something that would have me feeling ok again. Even just “ok” is better than being stressed or disappointed. I sat with a bunch of discomfort until I realized when I had the energy, I needed to start my healing process and the only way I could do that was to get myself whatever I needed to be able to heal. 

how i became familiar with giving to myself

That process started with small things like letting a friend treat me to pedicures when I was financially strained and wouldn’t have afforded it for myself. This helped me in a few ways. I felt valued and appreciated by my friend. We got pedicures together so spending time with her was healing. The after effect of feeling taken care of and having pretty feet enhanced my mood. 

After that, I started to realize that if I had any extra money, I needed to start taking care of myself. One of the hardest things about the rut that I was in was that I really did feel very alone and unsupported, even with a few really good friends that never waver on being there for emotional support and to listen. 

Engaging with friends who do listen, who ask questions and who care became one of my first conscious efforts to invest in myself in a real way. This was really important because it was an emotional investment, and an investment of my time and energy that I was addressing. I had been spread way too thin with investing time and energy into people who weren’t reciprocal – I was allowing myself to be drained. I have a long history of that.

It took a little bit of soul searching and introspection to understand that I was responsible for myself and I was going to have to be responsible for my healing. What I could do for myself was at least create an environment of care, and that meant opening my eyes to who in my life did or didn’t care, and adjusting accordingly. 

When you feel unsupported it can feel like you’re working against yourself when you start  tightening up who you allow to be in your energy field. You might become somewhat of a hermit, and if that happens, it’s ok to step back from your social scene to reanalyze. If you like being active, this is where some active self care can fill in the void of possible boredom. 

I had to shift the way I spent money as well. I’ve never been a materialistic person, and like my friend who took me for pedicures, I’ve always been super generous and giving to those who have less than I do. I’ve allowed myself to be used a lot in this lifetime. So it was a difficult transition to go from giving it to others to giving it to myself. I wasn’t used to spending on myself, especially when I was not doing as well financially. 

how having a plan for self care creates outcomes

When I did start to rebound financially, I immediately started to plan rather than react. I started to make a true effort to put money away that I was going to use for my own self care. My hair products are expensive, and I started to purchase them again instead of trying the generic stuff that wasn’t working as well. I bought new shoes for work, I bought new snow boots and a new coat for the cold weather. All things that I really did need and was putting off getting for myself. 

Once I started to address my own wants and needs and started to meet those needs for myself, I started to reawaken to myself. And this created momentum. I wasn’t getting back to my old self – I was finally healing into my new next creation of myself. I don’t want to get back to my old self. I want to feel good about myself in the present moment. 

This is where the healing started to get fun. Investing in myself is a form of fun I wasn’t familiar with. Sure, when I was making a nice salary at a high paying job I hated, I did treat myself to nice things because I could afford them, not because I was investing in my own healing. I was going through the motions of a normal life where the more you make the more you spend. That was familiar. 

valuing self as a healthy way to heal

It wasn’t until I tried to be self employed and I didn’t have the money to spend that spending the money on myself actually held its weight in gold. It also taught me a big lesson in undervaluing myself and my services as a self employed individual. I gave free services because I wanted to and I could, but then all of a sudden I really could not afford to do that any longer. I continued past what I should have and I felt bad when I finally had to stop.

These realizations were hard on my moral psyche. I realized I was no good at boundaries. I realized I hadn’t yet matured with both valuing myself and with boundary setting after years of “working on” it. Again, facing the hard truths about my dwindling financial position in life amongst the other TIL hard truths that happen when you’re least expecting it – it woke me up. I was going to have to take care of myself no matter what it took because I am all I have. 

These discomforts forced me to accept that I am responsible for myself. I had to face the stark reality that no one was going to save me when my life started to crumble before my eyes. I almost had no choice but to invest in myself or sink. 

I immediately realized that I had to find a job in my profession to be able to work 3 days a week and not during yoga class times. That seemed kind of impossible until I applied for and got that very job. I prefer a small company and not a corporation, and that’s what I got. All I did was look at job postings and apply. I didn’t want to go back to a “job” and I was able to muster up the motivation to do it because I made the choice to invest in myself. I also downsized and moved into a smaller house.

investing over time reveals results

Next, I adapted to where I am at. I had to realize my age plays into my level of exhaustion and I adapted by slowing down and not pressuring myself to do anything. Yes, dirty dishes did pile up quite a few times as I adjusted to myself. I paid attention to myself. I spent time with myself even if that meant boredom from just sitting and zoning out. 

Each step I took to invest in myself had me slowly and steadily feeling better.  It did not happen overnight. 

I started working out again at a fitness place I love with my friend. We exercised together outside of my yoga classes. We’ve been transforming together. We spent money on skin care together, not because we have terrible skin but because it feels good when you keep up with a self care routine and you actually see results in the mirror. Neither one of us is vain – both of us love feeling more confident. 

I also started using my own wellness services. I found that medical ozone on the hair really does work for regrowth of the hair cycle because my colleague and treasured friend was keeping a regular routine and we are seeing results. She reminded me and inspired me to use my own services by giving me a spa day and we’ve started making ozone on our hair a regular after-yoga tradition. 

At that dreadful phase, last year when I felt completely stuck, I couldn’t see that all of these things would happen once I committed to taking care of myself. I hardly had the motivation to get out of my pajamas. There were many days last year that I didn’t even have the will to eat, so I didn’t. Trust me when I say that investing in myself is what saved me. 

As you face the days of life, some of them are going to be bright and happy and some of them will be challenging. As we go, everything is always changing around us and within us. We can’t avoid aging.

So while we are experiencing all of the different phases of our lives, we can remember that taking care of ourselves should be a core commitment. It matters. Our health is our greatest wealth.