When someone focuses on how much they don’t want to see you succeed, they are focusing on your success.

If you believe in the art of manifestation, of thoughts becoming reality, what you focus on grows. We can see this to be true when we think about the statement, “Any press is good press.” Attention, good or otherwise, puts the focus right on the target.

When you’re the target, don’t freak out – it’s your success that makes you stand out.

One of the things that really causes us stress and anxiety is worry about how others perceive us. So when someone in your community flits about spreading rumors or judgements about you, it can feel like an insurmountable rejection. It’s a form of bullying.

And yes, it can be devastating because it can cause you to lose confidence and focus – which could affect your ability to succeed, right?

So what can be done about these haters?

Well, the truth is that nothing really can be done about them and that’s okay. Nothing has to be done about them. Haters, people who are at best immature and at worst intend to harm, will exist in your community and around your sphere no matter what.

Nonetheless, we have to include the haters in the collective and we are all connected.

Let’s start there with our connection.

Ironically, it’s our connection to our critics that actually helps us.

Because we are all connected, that is why we wield power when someone criticizes us and tries to diminish our value and worth. They feel threatened by something, and that makes them lash out. For them to react to you, they must have been affected by your presence.

Sometimes, our family members or closest friends can be our biggest critics. This is because our success is right there, shining at them. If someone does not know you and has no connection to you, they’re probably not inclined to react strongly to you, if any, unless you’re already famous.

If you’re a powerful presence, the reaction to you will be stronger.

When you have a measure of perceived success, there will be people who show up as your biggest fans. Conversely,there will be people who show up as your biggest critics. If you’re balanced and fully empowered, neither holds much sway or takes up too much space in your mind.

it’s only in an empowered state that we can appreciate value of our haters.

I saw pretty early on in my days of being a performing musician that there was a lot of value in being in a good enough band to even have a rival band. It was both flattering and inspiring, and both made me work harder.

In my career in the medical field, I have been in the shoes of “the boss lady” and I can say that managing a team of associates and colleagues carried more weight than having someone from a rival band write something about me on social media or on a bathroom wall. At work, constructive criticism was a professional give and take.

Criticism from others can serve two wonderful purposes: First, we can really learn something from it and use that to improve our performance, and second, we can see that our behaviors have a strong impact on others.

We can expect that with more responsibility comes the pressure of success as an outcome. Once there’s success, there’s power in the market. Once you present as a force in any market, you’re a competitor and now you’re a threat. People are taking you seriously now. There’s value in that.

Big success doesn’t happen quietly.

It doesn’t really matter if the author, Steven King, writes quietly in his den or on his houseboat. His success is not quiet,he’s famous. Golf is a quiet sport but we all know who Tiger Woods is. Most of us know who Mother Theresa is. Known to be silent and humble, yet, what a huge presence she was. Mother Theresa is a legend.

There will be critics in the crowd when you draw a crowd. And that’s the scary thing about success. Nobody likes rejection. Yet, there’s no reasonable amount of success without at least a little bit of rejection. Being well networked, and well known, carries with it subtle agonies, such as a loss of privacy.

When we start to grow a following, and a pool of critics, or haters, even a little bit of rejection and a small pool can feel overwhelming. Yet, we need to remind ourselves that this is in fact part of success. We’re looking to impact our industry, even in small ways. We should expect attention.

It helps if we remember not to take ourselves too seriously.

It helps to understand that we can change our scene at any moment if we don’t want to be shining for everyone else to see. We always have the option to back off a little, get away, rest, or completely hide under a rock. But for the vast majority of us who tried to draw a crowd – once we’re out from under our rock and played in front of a crowd, we don’t go back under the rock. Yet, we always know that we have a choice.

You know you’re successful when you have haters, so love your haters.

It was suggested to me recently by a friend that one of the main reasons people ruin a good thing is because they fear their own success. We humans certainly can engage in self-sabotage because of our fears of getting too close, being rejected, and for fear of losing everything if we make it to the top. Sometimes we let the bullies stop us dead in our tracks.

I’m here to tell you that you can use that bully power to fill up your own tank. As soon as someone in your orbit starts to project negativity and criticism at you, at that moment you can choose to receive that as empowerment. So you don’t have to be mad at the person who is trying to troll you or start rumors about you, you can feel happy you have those.

Avoid personalizing criticism or attacks. In our humanity we often try to figure out why someone would hate on us, and it’s not the reason that matters. We have to know that in our most empowered state, we are going to shine bright. Somepeople are going to be intimidated and uncomfortable because they lack our confidence. In essence, they want to be like you.

Pure old-fashioned jealousy in a competitive world is easy to understand. We see this anytime we engage with any kind of media. Every successful person has haters – so who cares?

It’s liberating when you think about it. You have haters. You have attained a level of success where peers feel threatened by you. Unfortunately, some of those peers are immature and not fully in control of their emotions, so they may display some form of public reaction that might threaten your business or reputation.

Ironically, they have a better chance of boosting your business and reputation.

if you have haters you also have supporters.

In today’s world, normal is out the window. There’s no more pretending to be polite when you can’t stand someone. Cyber bullying on social media is happening on the net in every single moment of every single day.

We used to be embarrassed about such things. Now – it’s simply a way to identify immature trolls or the true colors of someone you thought had more integrity.

Love your haters because they can make you famous. They can cause a bunch of people to come to your defense and rally around you, which makes you feel more supported than ever. The truth is, if you are successful enough to have haters that means you also have supporters. If you have haters, that means you’re having an impact.

When I see that a group is ganging up on someone who is talented, smart and successful – I know who the bullies are. I know who the jealous person is. And when I see groups that come together and spin stories, I know that’s an unprofessional group of people that I don’t want to be affiliated with.

And again, in our world, sometimes the reason you find out about a person is because someone makes an allegation about them, or someone is suspicious of them, or they’re the target of some interesting gossip. Yet, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to believe the negative story – at best you may not care, and if you do, it will prompt you to look into it further.

Sometimes what you find when you look into the person being talked about is a super talented and amazingly beautifulperson who is the target of jealousy. For me, I never side with bullies. A person who tries to take something away from another person or who tries to damage or harm someone’s reputation – in my value system – is a person who wears their dark side like a badge instead of controlling it with tolerance, integrity and compassion.

Yes, customer reviews are helpful and those are a thing. However, harmful gossip or going out of your way to make someone feel rejected, or to damage their reputation in some way, is unnecessary and malicious.

We can and should be building each other up.

Certainly, I would encourage you to defend anyone who is the victim of bullying if and when you can. I think it’s important to call one another out when it comes to petty gossip, or even scathing slander.

Question the true reasons why a person wants to take something away from another person.

Being the target of another person’s contempt is very stressful, but it doesn’t have to be. It can be felt as empowering when we own the fact that we are powerful enough to have taken up a lot of space in our critics’ minds.

Again, let it be flattering if the haters appear around your sphere. Their concern is your success, after all.