When it comes to your health and wellbeing, it can be difficult to know who to listen to.

Our Healthcare is a system driven by profit potential. Trust in our systems and institutions is at an all time low.

Keep in mind, a good doctor or a bad doctor is going to tell you smoking cigarettes is bad for your health. At this point, it’s a well studied, well documented fact that smoking tobacco is harmful to the health and wellbeing of a human being.

Why it’s the advice, or the facts that matter, and not the person communicating them.

Ever had a hard time getting into a podcast on a favorite topic because you were turned off by the sound of the narrator’s voice?

I can remember not listening to the Dave Matthews Band in college because of this one intonation he would do with his voice and it just got under my skin. It wasn’t until about 5 years later, once I’d moved out west and was far removed from spoiled college kids who were driving brand new Jeeps and wore $150 sandals, that one of my down to Earth friends in Tucson gave me Under The Table & Dreaming. She told me to give it a chance.

I did. I learned something about myself that I would continue to notice throughout the next 25 years of my life – I was limiting myself by shutting something potentially beautiful down because of a first impression loaded with external annoyances. Once I gave the whole thing a chance, as I was then learning to play guitar, I became convinced Dave Mathews was a musical mastermind.

One thing that always stuck with me, was that I loved a lot of songs that I didn’t know the names of, and a lot of bands that I had no idea who the people in the bands were or what they looked like. I didn’t really want to know. Because once I knew something about the artist, it threatened my impression of the artwork. I wanted to enjoy the music without it being tarnished by me learning the song writer was a cheater, or a bully, etc. (See the Apology of Socrates, even the ancient philosophers saw this.)

In the same way, when I’m studying for a test I am willing tor receive the lessons and study materials, no matter who is presenting them. I need those material to do well. When the test results come in, I’m anxious to see the results, regardless of who is delivering the results.

I can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, no matter who is giving the advice. I’m betting so can you.

In most cases, common sense, plus the absence of denial, can guide us in the right direction.

Most people don’t need advice, what they are actually seeking is accountability.

Take for example, a personal who hires a fitness coach, personal trainer or even a life coach. It isn’t because they need advice about how to eat right and exercise, they know exactly what is on the list of foods to avoid and exercises to do. They are hiring someone who will push them and hold them accountable, the guidance is simply a gentle reminder and a smaller part of the program.

There are many medical workers who are unhealthy and overweight in our country. When we listen to them give advice, we might be tempted to think that they have no business telling us what we need to do to be healthy, when they themselves are so unhealthy. Hypocrisy is surely a turn off. Yet again, a doctor who smokes is still going to admit that smoking is harmful to their health. They very much are in the business of giving healthcare advice. It’s what they get paid for.

So common sense is going to tell us that when we see a doctor or any healthcare worker who is obese, low energy and addicted to sugar, caffeine and maybe even tobacco or alcohol – it doesn’t change what we know about how to be healthy, and what to avoid so that we don’t become unhealthy.

I agree it’s discouraging if a nutritionist is obese, or a hair stylist has a terrible cut and color – it certainly gives way to doubt. First impressions are everything. Yet, it is more important to be reaching for what we want in our own health and wellbeing. We all know how to get there, and we also know that support and guidance is a recipe to getting there faster and staying with it.

I have been in the presence of therapists who can be really great at giving counsel and advice, and they have helped so many clients, but they struggle with their own emotional stability and choices surrounding relationships. The important thing about their societal role is that they are good at the role they play in helping others heal and thrive. Like educators, we need them in our society.

We need experts across every industry to support the larger whole. We need one another naturally to thrive and to survive. We should stop expecting that the source of good information be perfection in our own eyes for us to “believe” what they are communicating. If we want to do our own research, the source should be reputable, and that’s where we look at actual clinical studies. We still have to look at results with an unbiased eye.

If we look for problems we will certainly find them.

We can find anything we want to find when it comes to justifying bad behavior or unhealthy choices.

If you want to find articles that say that butter and sugar are great for your health, I am sure you will be able to find those articles. No matter the source, doughnuts are not good for you.

Numerous times I have heard people talk about how they are very sensitive and they “don’t put anything harmful in” their bodies when questioning why they’re not losing weight and why they feel tired. They tend to question good advice and think they’ve “tried everything”. They are also the person that will say, “I know what I need to do.” Yet, when they talk about what they eat and drink, it’s a mouthful of denial regarding how harmful their eating style and lifestyle is to their health.

One of the recipes to success is being around people that will support you and will hold you accountable. In order to really get to our next level, we have to first be motivated to take the first step. We have to reach out to a mentor, a guide, a coach, an educator or a therapist depending on where we are trying to get to. Even if that means reaching out to a colleague who has succeeded in the way that we want to.

Next, we need to trust ourselves that we can identify the guidance that is helpful for us.

I’ve been to retreats or to therapists I thought weren’t the correct fit for my style. I need homework, and a plan, because I am a process and procedure person. If not the right fit, I keep looking. I’ve had potential business partners that were not the right fit for my style, and while these people are great for helping others with their plans, I let the right fit happen naturally by not forcing the wrong fit.

This is no discredit to anybody who wasn’t a right fit – it’s a credit to the dedication it takes to keep on the path of trusting myself to receive the right people and circumstances when they appear. And trusting myself has also taken time, because in the most personal relationships, I have still allowed what could be to take the place of what actually is.

In my past, what could be the right fit, wasn’t, and I am still learning to identify what is the “real” and “healthy” fit for me. It takes time and introspection. In looking at what I want the rest of my life to look like if I get to choose, I have to be detailed and intentional about what I want. There’s nothing worse than getting what you thought you wanted, only to find out it wasn’t a healthy option that could provide support and stability.

Not all that glitters is gold. That’s a lesson seldom learned in American culture. We like the “wow factor”. We like instant results and entertainment at our fingertips. What we are attracted to is seldom what is best for us, especially when it comes to things like food, lifestyle choices, activity level and purchases, big or small.

We do know what is best for us!

At the core, every single one of us instinctually understands that foods free of additives, whole foods, farm to table eating is extremely healthy for the body as is drinking plenty of clean water. We naturally understand that sunlight makes us feel more vibrant, and staying active will keep us in shape. We know when we are feeling unwell, or when something is off with us.

When you don’t know who to trust because you’re getting conflicting advice, trust yourself. Give yourself a little time, go within and enjoy finding the beautiful you that’ll know just what to say. And keep going. There’s really nothing to it but to do it!